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“One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in bed he had been changed into a monstrous verminous bug. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bow-like sections.” He lounged for a little while, and at 12:30 am on October 13, 2008, he decided to scurry into an Upper East apartment and scare the Kafka out of the tenant.

I have decided–not based on scientific data, but rather on what is best for my sanity, that Gregor is both sterile and has no interest in adopting other young roachlings.

If I see him again, I’ll have my apple ready.

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